“If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and slowly eat her bones, she would have worried more about that and less about getting the cat off the roof.”

It is probably a good thing that most books do not open with that kind of opening sentence, the kind that grabs you by the throat, trains your eyes on the page and does not let up until it’s over, and you’re a physical wreck from staying up all night, from the stress of car chases, and monster demolition, hair-raising leaps off skyscrapers and nightmarish visions of the future.

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits is a fabulous book by David Wong, whom many of you may know for his John Dies at the End which was made into a movie. Like his other novels, Futuristic Violence is a madly spinning futuristic sci-fi, what might happen if Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Universe birthed a book-child that read Atlas Shrugged.

It all begins with the death of Arthur Livingston, billionaire kingpin and founder of Tabula Ra$a, the Radian city where might makes right and might is measured in dollars. Zoey Ashe is his daughter and now the target of multiple free lance bounty hunters and murderers seeking a millions offered for her successful capture. She is, it seems, the key to opening Livingston’s vault and whatever secrets may lie within.

Needless to say there are bad guys aplenty including many with enhancements that given them odd superpowers, such as the aforementioned bone-eating. It’s all a diabolical plot, of course. And the book is filled with lots of action. Things go boom. Blood and guts and dismemberment abound, more than enough for the most devout Richard Rodriguez acolytes. And it’s funny.

Because of course it is. Without humor, it would be just lots of violence. With humor it is a wonderful, keep you up all night whirlwind.


I recommend Futuristic Violence and Fancy Pants to all but those who cannot deal with an overload of violence. But you should know what to expect from that first sentence. It captures the spirit of the book perfectly – gory, irreverent, violent, profane, engrossing, grossing out, a bit soft-headed and soft-hearted, and funny – most of all, funny.

Futuristic Violence