When the school year begins at Here, and Only Here, a teacher assigns the students to their double desks, one above and one below the line. That line becomes all important because the below students give the above students their lunch money, do their homework, and in return, they are punched, spit on, and otherwise harassed by the above students. The teachers are most notable by their determination to do nothing to upset these abusive traditions.

But there are students who ignore the rules, who struggle under the limitations. There’s a bottom who refuses to be a bottom and a top who chafes against his role. Childhood friends learn the cost of bullying and crisis piles on top of crisis.

I was disappointed in Here, and Only Here. I was so confused most of the time, though some of my confusion may be due to putting it down to read other things to distance myself from a shocking and violent incident a little less than halfway through. However, the story teaches us to speak up, the object, and by doing so, becoming visible.

With its high purpose and the deep intention behind it, I wanted to like it. I am sad that I could not. Here, and Only Here is an ambitious book, hoping in its 200 pages to turn the tide against bullying, to show that there are alternatives to the bully or be bullied binary choice presented in students at Here. However, I was frequently repulsed by the open and blatant bullying. The grotesque event in the playground bathroom was sick-making. I was also confused. Only a few students made it through the confusion, standing out as memorable. There were times I asked why I kept reading when I didn’t know what was going on.

I found myself resenting the book because I knew I should like it. I felt I was failing the book somehow.

p.s. I love Sophie.

I received an e-galley of  from the publisher through Edelweiss.